Reviewed guide

What If I Am More Nervous Than My Child About the Piercing?

The short answer

Your emotional reaction can meaningfully influence your child’s experience — children notice anxiety, agitation, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Prepare yourself the day before or the morning of: ask “How do I want to present myself to my child?” The ideal presence is calm, supportive, confident, available, and not dismissive.

Children read your face and voice — a calm parent sets the emotional tone for the whole day.

For parents

Sometimes the child walks in ready and the parent walks in shaky. That is normal — and worth taking seriously, because it is contagious in both directions.

Why it matters

The parent’s emotional reaction can meaningfully influence the child’s experience. Children notice:

Anxiety
Agitation
Anticipation
Fear
Facial expressions
Tone of voice

Prepare yourself

Keith encourages parents to prepare themselves the day before, or the morning of, the appointment. Ask yourself: “How do I want to present myself to my child?”

The ideal parent presence is:

Calm
Supportive
Confident
Available
Not dismissive

Avoid repeatedly saying

“Are you scared?”
“Are you sure?”
“Is this going to hurt?”
“Oh my God, I can’t watch.”

Each of these hands the child a reason to worry.

No shame in nerves

Do not shame yourself for being nervous either — the goal is awareness, not guilt. Calm parental behaviour helps establish the emotional tone.

Keith’s larger goal

This should become a positive coming-of-age family memory. Keith hopes that when the child is older — even into adulthood — they remember the day they went with their family to get their ears pierced as a really good experience.